Aside from FB or Google, deterministic user matching is best left to companies like Liveramp or Twine, whom you can use to "onboard" your user list or CRM database into targetable segments. You can then activate those segments on most open exchanges (if you're not already using a platform of your own).
One word to always keep in mind with any sort of hyper-targeting: SCALE. Unless you're working with a really large dataset, you're better off testing some different types of data, such as retargeting pools and third-party modeled segments. Set up several small experiments using different types of segments and evaluate what best drives performance, adopting a scientific approach rather than presuming to know who you're best customers are! (Unless you're doing CRM, of course, in which case I'd check out Liveramp to get started.)